Happy end of wretched 2022, everyone! I’ve become too superstitious at this point to claim that 2023 will be better. But I so sincerely hope that it is for you!
For me, personally, it’s actually been awful – starting on Monday, January 2nd, 2023. No, that’s actually inaccurate. Things started to escalate in October 2022, crescendo’d in November 2022, then hit the fan the Thursday before Christmas, and proceeded to take the Express Elevator into Nightmare City until now.
I don’t have the energy to elaborate here.
If you actually are curious about the specifics, I talked about it in two long-form Post.News articles in the last month.
Healthcare, Elder Care, And The Uncaring Cracks:
My last 10 days, if not longer, and my new daily reality — American Elder Care (Nightmare) Chronicles:
It might be more accurate to say I vented in detail, exhaustedly, and also after a glass of Ardbeg scotch after the 2nd post last night about the current state of my shitty nightmare, while the first one was pure incoherent, sleep-deprived frustration, but hey, if you were in my shoes, you’d totally have an Ardbeg after one of my days.
(BTW, Ardbeg tastes and smells exactly like many very green, peaty, smoky, camphorous ouds or vetivers.)
Whether or not you read those posts on Post for specifics, the bottom-line is that I really don’t know if I’m coming or going most days. Prior to figuring out one of my dad’s medications (Marinol prescription, medical THC) issues, I really thought I had maybe 2 or 3 weeks left with my father. Now, maybe, fingers crossed, I have 8 weeks? *knock on wood*
If you’re aware of America’s sadly deficient resources for elder care if one is not hugely independently wealthy, or if you have been in my shoes, you’ll know that I’m not in the proper state of mine to figure out all the different laundry cycles on the endless mountains of elder/medical soiled linens at this point, let alone test fragrances multiple times to write the 2,500 words that is my usual absolute BARE minimum for stuff (usually my Reviews en Bref for things I hate) or my more typical 3,850 minimum for regular stuff.
I’m tired, my friends. So incredibly tired. I’ve got medical bills coming out the gazoo. And I have a mother who has cried for the 3rd time in front of me *in my entire adult life* after the full state of my father’s condition sunk in through the dementia (finally, 10 days ago! Because she was in total denial for the last year!) — and she broke my heart.
She actually sobbed for 45 minutes straight and asked for how she could go first, repeatedly. (That has freaked me out to no end, btw.)
I’m lucky to have a sister to stand by my side.
I also have a brother who deigned to fly from NYC for an entire 3.45 minutes to see his dying father and ill mother for the very last time ever. (And yes, I’m bitter. For someone who professes to adore, love, and want to help his parents, for someone in my country’s culture of elder focus/ elder prioritization, 3.45 hours to… is… *deep sigh* never mind.)
Okay, I seem to have vented or shared a lot more than I had planned.
And please — PLEASE — do not think that I’m asking for sympathy, pity, hugs, or anything else.
I AM NOT.
This is merely my early 2023 update for the next likely 4 months in terms of blog reviews, blog posts, blog scheduling, etc.
If you want or choose to reply to this, could you do my battered pride and my ever-increasing mortification at having to divulge all this personal things after years of deeply strict personal anonymity a favour by not mentioning anything I’ve said here at all and replying to the specifics of any of this?
If you have a comment, I’d be thrilled to hear about your cats, your dogs (ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE GERMAN SHEPHERDS), any new perfume loves you’ve found, or anything that has been a bit of good news in 2023, even if I doubt I’ll have the time to respond personally and individually.
Please do not take that personally.
But I’ll read every comment, just as I have REPEATEDLY all your kind comments to the old update post when my spirits were flagging over the last 2 months. They cheer me up.
For those interested solely in the reviews and practical stuff, bluntly and impersonally, I think my father has probably 4-5 weeks to go, after which I’ll need at least 6 weeks to recover, if not much longer.
Also, I will have my ailing mother to take care of — and she will no doubt fail soon after.
Do you know,, March 17, 2023 will be their 66th or 67th wedding anniversary?! They met one night at a ball, after 5 hours of conversation she agreed to marry him that very first night (!!), and they got married after ONE week.
66 or 67 years…
I fear she won’t make it without him for long.
It keeps me up at nights.
I’m so tired, my friends. So incredibly tired. So tired. So tired. So tired. So tired. So absolutely wrecked and tired.
In addition, my brain has turned into scrambled eggs; I’ve yanked and wrenched my back in 2 or 3 places trying to lift my father from the floor, sometimes twice a day; my neck has gone weird; and I’m basically a full zombie in automated mode for those hours where I’m not hyperventilating and having a panic attack.
And did I mention that I’m so, so, soooo tired and that my brain has been reduced to moldy cottage cheese??
So I’m sorry, I doubt I’ll be writing anything new about fragrances in the meantime. I’ll see you guys later in the year, ok? Thank you for understanding. (Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH for listening to me vent. It’s how I stay sane.)(Well, moderately sane.)*But, seriously, thank you for bearing with my vent.)
PS– Absolutely no editing, spelling, or grammar care has been taken in the writing this post. I’m tired. I’ve had a glass of Ardbeg. It’s been utter hell for months, if not 4 YEARS. And I truly no longer give a damn about anything, especially typos, grammar, or editing. Sorry.